Despite the prevailing economic conditions, floods and other natural disasters, suicide bombings, robberies, kidnappings and other heinous crimes that take place on a daily basis, there is always a silver lining in each situation. The floods in Queensland have not nullified the triumphs and drama at the Australian Opens, despite the hardship that affected people are currently undergoing and what awaits the Australian economy as a whole. Neither have the religious attacks in Egypt and Iran made celebrations of newly born babies, birthdays and wedding anniversaries a thing of the past. The scale maybe affected, but that the family will certainly celebrate it one way or the other is a given.

As a people Nigerians love celebrations of every conceivable type and don’t stint when it is possible to mark it. It may be on a grand scale, moderate or small one, but celebrate we must! The most prominent people that have emerged as the ‘loudest’ when it comes to this are the people of the south-west. Yes o, the ngbatis have it! I cannot be accused of tribalism in this case, since I am proudly Yoruba and the characteristics that run across board have been regularly satirized and it has become a way of life. Interestingly, the three major tribes have been tarred with the same brush and it’s a common occurrence to hear not just Yoruba and Igbo jokes, but Hausa related ones too. The fact is, uniqueness is a good thing and we’ll discover that over time, some hitherto exclusive cultural aspect of a certain people has slowly sipped into the national fabric.

The most glaring one is the preponderance of the aso-ebi as a way of life. I’m not certain of the pacesetter in this instance, but I suspect that the flamboyant people of the south-west may have been the culprits in this instance. Aso-ebi (for me) sounds so much more interesting when the original phrase is used, the term ‘uniform’ does not quite capture the essence of the concept. Simply defined it means, ‘cloth of the family’ and so we can deduce that it’s for a closely knit set of people. As we know, the family in the African context does not just refer to the nuclear but also refers to the extended aspect of it. A connection of blood, relations and mutual association is adduced when the parade of the cloth begins!

So when the aso-ebi is featured as part of campaign paraphernalia, or is worn to party primaries we understand the psychology behind it. On the other hand, sending aso-ebi to a mere acquaintance that may not be so affiliated or closely connected (or worse yet a total stranger) is a no, no! Apart from the financial investment it entails, first and foremost it depicts a bond of sorts. Grossly overestimating someone’s interest or regard for you is a grievous one. Assuming that they can foot the bill is one, thinking their interest in you runs to the depth where they don’t mind flaunting it for all and sundry, is something else altogether! I’m not sure if it’s done to return aso-ebi (although I do know of an incident when this has been done), but proper evaluation is required in order for this not to occur in the first place. Saving face and the embarrassment this may otherwise cause is crucial.

Giving people (family inclusive) the option of acknowledging their association with you through the aso-ebi should be a voluntary one. They should also not be coerced into the act either overtly or covertly too. In some cases the heavy financial outlay for the items may not be worth it and they may not know how to communicate it to the celebrant. Thus when celebrants make it optional or have different categories available for interested parties it helps. Underestimating your relevance (or properly analysis) and importance in other people’s lives will never backfire and ultimately save you grief in the long run. The regard that others have for you is not measured in the number that wore a particular aso-ebi for the wedding or funeral last month! Keeping our perspective on this issue and other important human relations is crucial to the fundamentals of relationships no matter their context.

We all practise discrimination in one form or the other. The dictionary definition is quite clear and is tripartite. The first talks about ‘treating people differently through prejudice’ i.e. unfair treatment of one person or group because of race, ethnicity, age, religion or gender. The second is, ‘the ability to notice and value quality ’i.e. to appreciate good quality or taste. The third and final definition is stated as, ‘the awareness of subtle differentiation’ i.e. the ability to notice subtle differences. I’m quite sure that the first definition is the one that readily comes to the fore whenever the word is mentioned. Especially, in this age of terrorism and various hate crimes. For this discussion we shall use the second and third definition, although we shall be looking at instances where people have been treated differently. It will be left to you to decide whether discrimination actually occur and the cause.

We may have experienced instances where a shop assistant, gateman, receptionist or what-have-you gave us the cold shoulder. In some of these interactions you could (almost) immediately point out to the fact that your dressing (not flashy or expensive looking enough), demeanour (quiet, courteous and not loud!) or something else could be attributed to this. In the Nigerian setting (maybe others too, please set me straight if I’m wrong) I’ve observed that in some cases when you’re not ‘oppressive’ in your treatment of underlings you’re not given due respect. The fear, fawning and other seeming accord is absent. It’s funny really when you think about it, because when the proper and appropriate behaviour is meted out, these chaps don’t recognise it and may categorise the individual as pitiful, weak, or clueless. The case of helps and drivers that are treated fairly and end up misbehaving is another one that comes to mind!

What about times you went shopping (the mile 12 or oyingbo version!) and felt you were cheated. You complained because you just knew it was because you had to pop in after work (as a result you were wearing your suit!) and that made things more expensive than they normally should have been if you were fully ‘prepared’. A list and your dress mode would have been taken into consideration, the time for haggling would have also been factored in and you would have returned triumphant from your shopping expedition. On the other hand some of us may have had an old friend or mere acquaintance give us the less than desired attention. The quality of deference was absent (or not at par with our expectations) and left us piqued.

According to the second and third definitions of discrimination (the ability to notice and value quality and ‘the awareness of subtle differentiation’ i.e. the ability to notice subtle differences) is something we can (and do) wield by choice. As humans we have the prerogative to choose how we interact in the light of these biases. We will constantly be on the receiving end of these choices daily, but on the flip side too, we will also do our own fair share of discriminating in our lifetimes. Noticing subtle differences, quality and taste is unique to each of us and handling them correctly is fundamental to our growth.

The ability to handle these instances correctly gives us room to develop and learn. This said, it does not mean that the other person or people exercising their choice to discriminate is doing so rightly or justly, but it is how we choose to respond that matters. It won’t be easy and maybe downright frustrating at times, but unless we leave planet Earth we must of necessity live with people and suffer idiosyncrasies (theirs or ours) as part of our humanity.

Thinking is mental and the funny thing is that it’s a lot of work! A lot goes through the mind when processing thoughts. When you actually want to do some deep pondering you’ll discover that in order to focus on that central thing you must eliminate a lot of ‘noise’. Funny really, because this noise is internal; thoughts that don’t matter, especially with regards to the matter at hand. If you don’t stay in that place and take out the static the exercise will be one in futility. This type of concentration is essential, especially when important things must be done.

Fine tuning, tweaking and alignment must be conducted for 2011 to be what you’d like it to be. In January, you may thus find that planning the finer points of what you’d like to do in the year is more important than jumping about. If you find that others may seem to have a jump start, probably they already did their planning in 2010. Ensuring that the blueprint is in place, workable and practical makes more sense than always doing things off the cuff. Spontaneity definitely has its place and I’m not knocking it, also watching things unfold is also part of the plan…if it’s not, it ought to be!

Thus in our lives planning cannot be over emphasised and it you fail to plan, it means that you’ve ultimately planned to fail! So a lot of THOUGHT goes into ensuring that success is attained. It boggles the mind when you survey the environment and see children more visible than normal for this time of the year. Essentially, they are twiddling their thumbs with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Learning and school attendance were fillers for the time of day that now yawns before them. Unusually, you may find more kids hawking because of the current edict in force, an unwelcome sight any day and more so because of the politics of the day! I’m not sure exactly what the teachers are using to occupy the time they should have spent in the classroom. Parents I’m certain were not expecting this and have thus had to implement alternative plans, in addition to fees already paid; adding insult to injury!

We have a responsibility to THINK through and properly plan for the cadres in society. These strata currently have no business and could be less concerned with politics and elections. Why in the world must they suffer the brunt of mental laziness by a few adults? There is a better and proper way of conducting state affairs, it behoves us as a nation to do the hard work of thinking through before unleashing unfavourable scenarios on society.

It’s one thing to be carefree with your personal life, but as leaders we have no right to interfere with the lives of others and make it less idea. The children are our future and if we tamper adversely with them, woeful indeed is the future we have inked out for them!

Proper planning, concentration and much thought is needed to make 2011 a distinctive year (individually and collectively) earmarked by development and progress. Thinking is hard work and must be done properly in order to reap the benefits. We must engage in it and milk it for all its worth to ensure that planning and implementation is correctly practised to enjoy the success that comes with it. Work is work and must be done, the mental activity is one from which the physical activity and every other thing needed to bring the picture to life starts from…so let’s get cracking!

I grumbled, muttered and of course sweated when the weather didn’t cooperate and give the coolness usually associated with Harmattan. I wasn’t pleased when the nip that usually accompanies the dry season of the Nigerian climate did not live up to its promise. Fine, that means that the whole global warming (oops! ‘Climate change’) thing is true. Either way, I was not amused! Life in Lagos continued to be hot, sometimes humid with the infernal drone of the generators very noisy too!

Somewhere along the line, mid-December (I think), the long awaited (at least by moi) nip, dust and dry air finally made its debut in the state of aquatic splendour. Other parts of the country were already in the throes of the dry season and as such had adjusted accordingly with these developments. Thus, the fashion in Lagos acceptable because of the peculiar nature of the dry season, was not one that assured of the basic protection in the hinterland.

I woke up one fateful morning, to find my nose nigh frozen (always a good indicator of atmospheric temperature), my breathing laboured and more dust than I thought possible floating about. Needless to say, ‘Operation surviving the Harmattan’ mode was fully implemented. All windows airtight, fans and air-conditioners switched off and as much clothing that’ll generate heat but not cause unnecessary sweat donned. The fact that neighbours sleep with their air-conditioners on all nights is a condition I think is certifiable by the professionals at Yaba left…my humble opinion!

This saga made me realise how typical circumstances, relationships etc also sometimes follow this mould. Someone comes through (or doesn’t) when you least expect, last minute events result in unbelievable consequences (often not quite what you envisaged) and then the flip side, when you’ve done everything possible and nothing pans out. These scenarios all had rosy beginnings attached; some delivered on those promises and others fell far short of them. Then we have the instances where under-developed ideas, relationships etc suddenly came into their own…seemingly overnight.

These half-baked (or so them seem) concepts, relationships etc emerged and hit you right between the eyes. Unbeknownst to you, in the wings they had somehow matured, but were just waiting for an opportune moment to make their entrance. Life always has a few surprises lined up and as we start 2011, we must remember this whilst doing our things. We must realise that some things cannot be forced, but will emerge in the fullness of time and not on the terms we thought either. Our part is to ensure that we do all we can and know to do and also learn to recognise when to let go or let things be.

I for one will continue to enjoy the dusty, cool season currently prevalent in Lagos and the lesson it has taught me. I will take it and keep it in the fore this New Year!