Drama Queen

Talk about the embodiment of it…she’s just full of it! No, not that (what were you thinking huh?) her drama is far too rich (and excessive!) for my palate. In the most mundane of chores (washing clothes, plates, sweeping etc), going to church or even the mere act of eating has become something of a production; the entire universe must know whenever she (or any percentage) of her family does anything that closely resembles the rudiments of living.

Like normal houses (although there are a few exceptions that beg this question in Lagos!) a kitchen has been provided with the apartment, but the plates, pots, pans and other utensils are brought outside, put on display and subsequently washed and cleaned in the presence of all and sundry! When fruits are purchased nko? They are peeled and diced out in the open, a reminder for neighbours to include as part of their diet perhaps? I’ve heard tell (she loves to share these tit-bits) that on a few occasions some cooking has been done outside the confines of the kitchen. Sadly though, I sympathise with her on this since the soaring kitchen temperatures whilst cooking is unbearable. The best time to cater to your hunger pangs without this repercussion is either early in the morning or whenever you’re ready to be temporarily displaced for a few hours.

Interesting, they aren’t the only ones in residence mind you, but the fact they breathe means we MUST all partake of their daily drama whether we want or not! My conclusion on the daily shows that’s their life has become is that their lives are simply not as exciting as they would like and so they have to do something to spice it up. On the other hand if I’m wrong in my assessment then I’m totally at sea as to the cause of their behavior or maybe they delight in being the friendly neighbourhood nuisances

Abby’s activities are carried out with great gusto and with no apologies to the sensibilities of others. On the other hand whenever something happens to the collective, the erstwhile situation subsequently becomes all about her and is magnified beyond recognition. Pray tell, of what consequence is the level of comfort you enjoy? Attending to your life’s necessities is your business and tending to mine my sole preserve. This prime lesson in socialization is lost on her and her kind so and we must grin (grit more like) and bear the outrageous behaviour as it unfolds.

Dear Abby, kindly keep your wahala to your corner of the universe and let us have some modicum of peace. In case you cannot do this, comedy makes for better entertainment and would lighten some days of the long suffering audience you have managed to amass over time!

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