Wardrobe Malfunctions

I’ve been thinking about this topic on and off but most recently it’s been at the forefront since last week Thursday. I also found it really interesting when there was another celebrity costume mishap. I’m sure everyone’s seen the Toni Braxton video where her dress (the back) practically left her in the altogether on stage. Several questions come to mind when one sees it although she seems to be none the worse for it. This isn’t the first public spectacle we’ve witnessed; the infamous Super Bowl incident with Janet Jackson is still fresh, nine years later!

Anyway, on that fateful day I was treated to a fully fledged view of a butt crack. Nothing new I hear you scoff. With the proliferation of low rise jeans, trousers and skirts abounding it’s become common to catch glimpses of cracks, see thongs, half moons of buttocks et al. Except in really bad cases we often don’t flinch anymore. Well if you’re anything like me you’d rather be spared all the above and wish the low-rise had never been invented.

Since I cannot un-wish an entire fashion trend I’ve learned to cope with the fall out and personally avoid its attendant mistakes too. So I was at this event and eventually the chair directly in front of me was taken. The large aviator sun shades almost consumed his entire face, whilst the corduroy jacket was adequate protection against the evening cool that was sure to encroach. I can’t forget the dark blue denims worn with a pair of light coloured slip-ons…

What can I say but I his outfit have been indelibly printed in my brain. Little did I know that there were unexplored aspects of his appearance I would experience before the night was over. Everything went smoothly, until the standing and sitting started. The first time was without fanfare, the second time we were about to hit our chairs Mr. Man’s jeans slid down. Being up-close-and-personal I got an eyeful.

I wasn’t sure what to do next with the situation. Was I meant to tap him on the shoulders and tell him to pull up his trousers? Was that the politically correct thing to do? I didn’t want to embarrass him but I was afflicted with a very severe case myself and clueless on what to do! Meanwhile the programme of events continued and I decided to ignore what I had been confronted with.

The space where we were gathered was not too large and I couldn’t be sure if others had noticed my dilemma. I received confirmation on just how obvious it was the second time we sat down. The older man behind made a slight sound and when we made eye contact I knew he had seen it also. Relieved I then asked if he would be kind and tell the fellow. I thought it would be better if it came from another man.

Sadly my comrade declined and I couldn’t blame him. Or could I? Keeping a straight face was a challenge but I think I pulled it off. Furthermore I reminded myself that in about an hour it would all be over. In a surprising twist, the man seated behind gallantly offered to change seats with me. His gesture moved me but I declined since I figured it couldn’t get any worse.

Thankfully I was right because the next time we had to sit, Mr Man pulled up his jeans. I think he finally realised how dangerously low it was. My knight and I exchanged a sheepish smile filled with relief. The rest of the programme ended without more drama than what had already unfolded. So if you were me, what would you have done?

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  1. The first time I ever saw the lowcut jeans was in a Pepsi AD placed in Ebony magazine, and I knew instantly it was something that would be in fashion for a very long time. Now, like you, I wish it never happened.

    If I were in your place, I’d tell the person to sit right. I didn’t wake up in the morning, dress up, and make it to an event to look at anyone’s nyash. I tell them, and I do so as impolitely as possible, just in case they were letting their trousers slide on purpose.

    People say I don’t have a fashion sense, but I’ve got the simplest and the best:

    “Don’t wear it if you’re not comfortable with, or in it.” -Valentino Garavani

    • @Nejeeb: You’re pretty brave to ‘tell them as impolitely as possible’ but does that always work? I love the quote from Valentino Garavani…if only everyone took that as their mantra!

      Thank you for sharing your views I really appreciate it! 🙂

      Any other guy out there brave enough?! 😉

    • …”I didn’t wake up in the morning, dress up, and make it to an event to look at anyone’s nyash”…

      Priceless. Lol!

  2. Yeeeee…..see no evil! Lollll!

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